Debo’s Deadly Sins
Debo’s Deadly Sins
1. People who lie to me to my face
I absolutely can’t stand this, for obvious reasons. We’ve all been lied to at one point or another, and we all know how we feel when we find out the truth. It’s especially sad when it’s done for no good reason…
2. People who ignore me for no specific reason
This drives me up a wall like few other things do. If someone has a problem with me, then they should tell me. I’m *NOT* gonna bite their head off for telling me. Not only that, I would very much like to talk things out and resolve it. If you don’t feel like talking to me at the moment, then I’d be more than happy to leave you be, but just let me know. How much effort is required in writing a sentence or two saying you’re busy, or you just can’t talk at that moment? There are only so many things I can do at the same time myself, and I can’t talk to everyone at once, and I can guarantee you, neither can anyone else on this Earth.
And I also know that over time, some people just lose interest in talking to each other, either because of changing interests, or for some other reason, but ignoring people, at least in my eyes, isn’t the way to deal with it.
I admit that even I have inadvertenly ignored people, and I’ve also bugged people I thought were ignoring me for no good reason. But as soon as I realized what I did, I apologized for what happened.
3. When a person hides things from me
Kinda goes on the same vein as #2, but this one is the one that will take someone to numero uno on my shit list quick, fast and in a hurry. Obviously, people have secrets, and there some things that should be kept to oneself, but if something involves me, then I feel I have a right to know what’s going on. As strong as this is, I *hate* it when people feel the need to hide things from me that involve me. Like I said before, I DON’T bite! This also applies very much to mistakes. I’m a big believer in learning from one’s past mistakes regardless of how large or small they are. Being a human being, it’s only a matter of time until I make a mistake, whether it’s by doing or saying something wrong, or the lack of saying or doing something when I should have. There is a saying I came across some time ago that I find to be very true. “You can never learn from the mistakes you never knew you made.” If someone doesn’t tell me if I did something wrong, and I didn’t realize it myself, then how am I supposed to correct it, and learn from it. It’s like getting a final exam back with a failing grade, and there’s nothing to indicate what questions you got wrong and why.
4. When people make me feel like an idiot
One of my biggest gripes is when people talk down to me. I absolutely hate it. Yes, there are things I don’t understand, but if I don’t understand it, I’ll ask. And you would be surprised the lectures I’ve received on the things I do understand. I once got lectured for 15 minutes by an irate customer that claimed to know that you can plug in three things into a single IDE cable (the cable you use to plug hard drives and CD burners into the motherboard of your computer). Little did he know, about 5 feet behind him was the person who quite literally wrote the book on the subject, and I myself have spent 12 years working on computers, and IDE cabling has been the only thing I’ve ever used to connect drives in the computers I’ve built. Afterwards, the guy who wrote the standard came up to him and told him how wrong he was. Point is, don’t talk about something you don’t know anything about. You may not know who’s listening.
5. When someone does drugs, especially around me
This one strikes fairly close to me. I’ve lost several friends to illegal drugs in the last few years, and I’ve had more than my share of run-ins with people who claim all of it is totally harmless. That is complete and utter bullshit. Just look at the situation in Russia a few months back with the takeover of a Moscow theater by Chechen rebels. When the Russian soldiers stormed the place, they used a sleeping gas that was derived from Opium. Trouble is, some people are allergic to opiates in some for or another, and almost 120 hostages died because of complications from inhaling the gas. And let’s not get started on marijuana… In my life, I’ve never touched a single cigarette, and the closest thing I’ve had to any sort of drug is the occasional outing for beer. That’s it. Besides, it’s been medically proven that a little beer now and then is actually good for your heart, since small amounts tend to lower LDL cholesterol in the human body, but like illicit drugs, it shouldn’t be done to the point where the benefits, good as they may be, are far outweighed by the pitfalls.
6. People accusing me of things I didn’t do
This one runs an extremely close second on my shit list. As I said before, if a person feels I’ve done something wrong, and I didn’t know I did, then they should simply tell me. But if there was something that happened, and I know for a fact I didn’t do it, there’s nothing worse than when they accuse me of it. It’s a slap in the face to me. I’ve been accused of some bad things in my life, simply because people felt I was a convenient target to put it on, and I’ve had to get my way out of a hole as a result of it on many occasions.
7. Being forced to pay for the sins and mistakes of others
This one just plain makes me mad. I would understand if someone punished me for something I did wrong, despite my initial complaints. If someone else did something wrong however, why should I be treated the same as though I’m the one who did it? I’m not that person, so why should I have to carry the burden for their crimes?
As far as prisons and such are concerned, I feel they’re a necessary evil, and that we should put people in jail if they commit crimes that warrant them being put there. But I draw the line when I feel like I’m being unduly punished for what someone else has done. I can understand if the person feels uncomfortable regarding a situation, but at the same time, how can they be so sure I’m exactly like the person who’s hurt them. Can they honestly tell me, to my face, I’ll do exactly what they did. I can’t fathom deliberately hurting anyone I know, or doing anything to make them feel bad. You are all my friends, and I cherish you all 
If everyone got punished for a few people’s crimes, we’d all be in jail for life 
8. People who feel I have ulterior motives when I offer them help
This is truly sad for me to say, because we live in a society that is so driven on the question, “What’s in it for me?”, that it bleeds into our personal lives. So many times, I’ve gotten the impression people have been leery of my offers of help because they felt they had to give something back in return, when in fact, all I ever wanted was a simple, “Thank you” in return. If I wanted something in return, I’d be up-front about it (see my rule on not hiding things from people). When I offer my help to others, it’s to genuinely help people through whatever problem they may have, not because I expect anything in return. As much as I don’t want to sound like a broken record, I don’t bite, and I’ve found that as often as I’ve wanted to be silent, keep everything in, I found it made me feel better when I talked to my friends about my problems. Next to a grudge, carrying a burden by yourself is the heaviest thing anyone can carry, and talking into an open ear helps out more than people might suspect.
More than anything, it hurts me on so many levels when people think that I’ve got some ulterior motive, because it makes me feel like I’m untrustworthy, and also makes me feel like I’m not good enough of a friend.